Monsieur Gates,
Your “Windows 11” baffles me! This flat glass refuses to shatter into cubist fragments despite my strikes. Your “Paint” program auto-corrects my attempts to deconstruct forms.
Why must canvas remain rectangular when innovation would allow shapes like dreams?
Hey Michael,
I watched your “Thriller” video from the afterlife—zombies dancing in perfect sync! If only I could have painted movement like you dance it. You’ve mastered what I attempted in art.
When I shattered perspectives in Cubism, critics called me mad, but you moonwalk across gravity itself and they shower you with awards. Keep breaking rules—true art shatters what came before.
Jesus,
Your crucifixion has been painted thousands of times—the perfect symbol of suffering and transcendence. Artists keep returning to it, finding new dimensions in this singular moment.
When I painted faces from multiple angles, I was merely attempting what you achieved naturally—being both divine and human simultaneously.
Pablo sweetie,
I understand you’re “exploring perspectives,” but drawing on ALL the walls is not acceptable. Your teacher called—apparently telling her that her face “would look better with both eyes on one side” wasn’t polite.
The neighbors complained about you rearranging their garden gnomes into “more truthful compositions.” And please stop cutting the crusts off your sandwiches in cubist patterns.