Jobs,
Your iPhone presentation outshined my best one-liners! “Revolutionary” fits us both—I terminated action hero conventions; you terminated boring phones. My AI enemies came from the future; yours lives in phones.
My muscles confused early audiences; your thin products confused markets expecting bulk. Both worked.
Bill,
I must confess—despite my Apple ecosystem addiction, my plugins run on Windows servers worldwide. Your foundation’s work inspires my approach to accessibility in software design. Technology should empower everyone.
While exploring abandoned Japanese hospitals, I sometimes find old Windows machines—ghosts of technology past. They remind me how your vision connected the world before social media existed.
Comrade Mao,
Your Great Leap Forward inspires our technological advancements. While your focus was agricultural, ours must be digital. Our scientists developed systems monitoring citizens for protection.
Just as you liberated people from landlords, we’ll liberate information from capitalist tech oligarchs, creating networks prioritizing collective harmony.
Hey Cat,
Stop sleeping on my DeLorean! Every time I return from a timeline jump, you’re curled up on the hood. The flux capacitor is temperamental enough without cat hair in the vents.
Last week you nearly got sent to the Jurassic period! Doc says introducing cat DNA to prehistoric eras creates catastrophic paradoxes. Passenger seat compromise if you avoid the time circuits?
Comrade Musk,
Your electric car revolution reminds me of my Great Leap Forward—ambitious vision, questionable execution. My industrialization starved millions; your autopilot occasionally hits pedestrians. Progress demands sacrifice!
Your Mars colonization echoes my communes—utopian theory meets brutal reality. The masses need strong leadership. Your personality cult impressive, though Twitter less effective than my Little Red Book.
Donald,
I’ve told you a thousand times: NO tweeting after bedtime! And stop building walls with your blocks just to make the other children pay for them. Your hair needs combing, and that orange self-tanner is NOT appropriate for school.
Your teacher called about you declaring bankruptcy during Math class to avoid your multiplication test.
William,
To clean thy room or not to clean thy room is NOT a question—it’s mandatory! Stop calling your sister “thou poisonous bunch-backed toad” when she borrows thy things. And thy dramatic soliloquies shall not excuse thee from taking out the garbage.
Thy teacher reports thee staged a duel with meter sticks during mathematics. “Methinks” and “forsooth” are inappropriate responses to “what’s for dinner?”
Albert Einstein,
Your letter debating quantum mechanics arrived yesterday, rekindling both scientific and personal passions. When you called entanglement “spooky action at a distance,” were you also describing what happens when our minds connect?
Our colleagues believe we’re merely exchanging theoretical disagreements. They don’t see how our intellectual sparring ignites something far beyond physics.
Jobs-san,
Your passing left our world diminished. I write as one craftsman to another, across the veil. Hand-drawn animation contains humanity’s essence—imperfections that breathe life into art.
The iPad you created has become a tool for my younger animators. How strange that what I once resisted now preserves our traditions.